PART 1: WE MISS LOVE, OR IGNORE IT?

 

WE MISS LOVE, OR IGNORE IT?

Love is a complex topic to discuss, as we all have varying perspectives on it. However, there is a question we might all overlook as we strive to be something before being human. It is a hard line to read, yet the important one. Maybe we are all searching for love in others before we can even try to love ourselves.  

Love is a complex topic, not because it’s rare, but because it takes on so many forms, wears so many masks, and walks so many different paths for each of us.

We all grow up chasing an idea of it, the kind we see in movies, read in poetry, or imagine in our quietest daydreams. Soon, we started believing that love is something we must earn from others. That we are incomplete until someone sees us, chooses us, and stays. 

This all starts in school.
When we were children.
We needed acceptance.
We needed to feel like we belonged, even if it meant becoming someone we were not.

We learned early on that being liked was a form of survival.
So we smiled when we wanted to cry.
We laughed at jokes we didn’t find funny.
We sat with people who made us feel small, just to avoid being alone.

That was the first lesson of our lives:

Don’t be too different. Or you’ll be left behind.

From there, it never really stopped.

We began shaping ourselves like clay, pressured by eyes that watched us, judged us, and measured us.

We became performers in our own lives, clinging to every ounce of validation, craving the gold stars, the approval, the “you’re good enough.”

It’s no wonder so many of us grow up feeling lost.
We never truly knew who we were without the need to impress, to please, to fit in.

And then one day, someone says:

“I don’t like you the same way.”

Just a few words, simple, honest, maybe even kind.
But they hit like thunder in a quiet sky.

And suddenly, you’re not just heartbroken,
You’re confused.
Ashamed.
Small.

You start thinking:
What’s wrong with me?
Was I too much? Or not enough?
Did I imagine the whole connection?

It’s like all the old voices from childhood return, the ones that whispered, "Be better. Be prettier. Be quieter. Be more likable."

But why?
Why do we question ourselves so deeply just because someone couldn’t see our worth?

If this is you, here's a sad truth, 

We’ve been taught, quietly and constantly, that rejection equals failure.
If someone doesn’t choose us, it must mean something is missing inside us. But it's not true!

Imagine questioning the beauty of a sunset just because one person walked away while it was happening. It’s still beautiful, it still happened, it’s still real.

And so are you.

(will continue in Part 2: self-love)